Couples who love each other like crazy sometimes fight like crazy, too.

According to the Smalley Relationship Center, everyone is afraid of one thing. And it’s either that the person they love will leave, or they won’t be in control anymore. Here’s how to figure out what you and your partner are afraid of, and stop those fights for good.  

• If you’re both afraid of not being loved, the minute someone wants to do something alone, it’s seen as total rejection. How do you get past it? Do what you both love to do – but separately. It’ll give you new things to talk about, and make other separations seem less threatening. 
• When both of you like being in control, you both also hate being controlled by someone else. The minute one person tries to take over, the other one gets mad. So, learn to be more flexible. Find projects you can do together where neither one is in charge, like volunteering for a charity. The more you work toward a common goal, the closer you’ll feel. 
• The final problem that causes the most fights in a relationship is – one of you is afraid of not being in control, the other fears losing your love.  Sometimes he feels left out when you make decisions without him. But when he complains, you feel crowded. What’s the solution? According to the Smalley Relationship Center, hang up a calendar and write down all the plans you make. That way, he’ll feel included, and you won’t feel like he’s trying to control you.